Ayo whattup....its ya boy Shampoo Bracelets aka Phantom Raviolis or the mighty Cocaine Biceps back in the muthafuckin blogosphere once again here to hit yall niggas over the head wit that luxurious shit. None of that polyester blend bullshit...I come wit that 1500 threadcount n up shit namsayin. I aint gon waste too much of yalls time wit all this intro shit. Yall already kno how I do...this is jus routine. The BET Cyphers is some shit that niggas be waitin on like fat kids wait on birthday cakes yo. This year aint really had as many real heavyweights as the last couple but it was still some dope niggas participatin n whatever....couple clown muthafuckas too. But we gon get to that in a minute.
The West Coast Cypher
At first I was like yo why Scarface sittin at that table yo? But that was jus that nigga E-40...Meanwhile Quik n Snoop lowkey lookin like they hairstyles was competin against each other. One thing I noticed was the youngbucks aint get to sit at the table wit the grown niggas tho...the way shit should be nahmean. It dont eeeeem matter that Kendrick can outspit all em muthafuckas b. Thats jus how shit should be.
Xzibit - Wasnt nothin too outta this world but thats sorta always been X to the Z's lane...he one of those rappers who aint wack at all...but he still dont never come up in convos bout who the G.OA.T is. Like he aint nobody absolute FAVORITE MC but he still dope. He spit a solid verse too yo...jus not no shit I feel like I gotta rewind over n over on some YOOOOOO YOU HEAR WHAT THIS NIGGA JUS SAID?? type shit. But he dont be playin or spittin no corny shit so I respect that. (7.5)
YG - He coo...but he aint really doin nothin special neither b. Plus if this the muthafucka who made Toot It N Boot It I already cant fuck wit dude like that. But shit was aight... (6.5)
Kurupt - Now THIS muthafucka decided he was gon do some off the head shit...which I got the utmost respect for. It dont even matter that he had approximately 0.5 quotables on this bitch. Cuz he got on some MC shit n son was jus spittin...like how I be doin nahmean. You feel proper doin some shit like that. Basically its like walkin into the room n whippin ya dick out n layin it on the table...like SLAP. Jus on some I AINT GIVIN A FUCK BOUT NONE OF YALL SO HERE YALL MUTHAFUCKAS GO...FUCK YALL type shit. Son even turned round on some 'oh hey whattup Kendrick I aint see you standin there' shit to make that shit official nahmean. Yeah I fucks wit it. (7.5)
E-40 - Usually niggas either straight up hate this muthafucka or they hail him as the most incredible nigga to ever breathe air yo. Lotta niggas dont kno sons pedigree like that....basically he the inventor of half the slang that done come out yall niggas mouths in the last 20 years...whether you was talmbout poppin collars, hella, fo sheezy or whatever whatever... Either way he spit a cool little entertainin verse namsayin. He brought the showmanship shit into it n whatever. I respect that. (7.5)
DJ Quik - Now this creative muthafucka decided he was jus gon put mo beat on this shit n ey'thing so he already get that extra point off the strength of that shit nahmean. Even tho it looked like Xzibit was feelin like DAMN CAN YOU CUT THAT SHIT OUT CUZ YOU FUCKIN WIT MY CONCENTRATION YO at the start. His flow was type basic n he was spittin some old nigga shit but he still blessed it so Im cool wit that. (6.5)
Kendrick Lamar - You already knew son was gon go in on this shit n do his beast thing...n after he kinda kicked some eh shit last year Im glad he came correct for this muthafucka. At this point it dont really even matter what the nigga do cuz its always gon be some fried gonorrhea flyin out that boy mouth namsayin. Pause. He jus makin the shit look easy bruh. Like his whole shit was him lookin round like "Whuh? Whuh I do?...Oh THIS? Ijusbespittinthisextraterrestrialoutofthisworldtypeshitniggascantfuckwitbutyall be lovin...its nuthin.." Son probably spittin a whole nother verse to niggas in another dimension at the same time while travelin thru the galaxies in his mind. That boy is gone yo. (9.5)
Snoop Dogg - Yo first of all... fuck all that Snoop Lion shit b. I aint even tryin to call this nigga that stupid shit yo. But this shit made me appreciate the homie S-N-double O-P once more nahmean. He not only showed his humility as a G in the rap game by spittin some real freestyle lyrics n goin off the top but he made that shit entertainin. Same way KRS tore that shit down a couple years back wit the "Nike sign" shit. N even tho Snoop been fallin off in slow motion for bout 15 years he still one of the best to ever do it. Also any nigga who blessed the world witta a joint like Doggystyle deserves eternal forgiveness for whatever wack shit he came out wit since that time yo. But he was on point for this shit. (8)
The Grand Hustle Cypher
I aint had no big expectations for this shit. I woulda like to see the homie Killer Mike in the lineup. But he aint. So basically shit destined to be kinda wack as fuck...
Trae The Truth - I aint gon front...I only understand like ey second word son sayin but he been doin this rap thing for a minute...n he still doin it..I respect his hustle...he seem like a cool dude. Ionno...I jus dont really fucks wit his shit like that. But this shit was aight. I aint mad at it. (5.5)
Chip - First off how British niggas use to sound all elegant like Slick Rick n now they accents is like a cross between Buju Banton n a hobbit or some shit? What done happen to these muthafucaks accents yo? All that aside...the little nigga aight but his bars is jus average man. Like I gotta pay attention extra hard jus to hear shit like he blowin up in the states like Al Queda? Nah b... (5)
Iggy Azalea - Yo son...I aint the most geographically inclined muthafucka or nothin but I do kno where the dirty south come to a stop namsayin....n it aint in muthafuckin Australia n shit. This broad really need to check that fake ass accent at the door before she disrespects another beat n shit. If Clifford really wanted to get down wit this chick he aint had to sign her as a rapper b...he coulda paid her to model his AKOO gear or whatever the fuck. Shit had me feelin like maybe Nicki aint thaaaaaaat baaaaad... This broad jus corny tho. Fuckouttahere wit this reverse coon white minstrel shit b. That fake shit gotta go. (fuck no)
B.o.B. - Son aint my favorite rapper or nothin but he cooo. Seriously yo....it woulda been nice to see Killer Mike get on this shit forreal. Like we gotta hear Frodo Marley n Iggy Auztralia but we dont get to hear the coldest muthafucka on the label spit? Yo Tip took a L for that bruh. Anyways Bobby Ray did his thing. Shit was aight...shit was aight... (7)
T.I. - Ayo Imma be the first to admit it...I thought son had fell off already when he started doin the overly positive upliftin shit on 90% of his joints... Clifford was really on some LOOKIT ME I JUS DID A SKID BID N NOW IMMA CHANGE THE WORLD shit. But chill. I aint wanna knock a dude for tryin to do the right thing. The Crime Stoppers shit mighta been a BIT too much tho... Like take it down a notch potna. You aint gotta do ALL THAT shit. Do ya own time. Dont jus draaaaaag niggas down wit you jus cuz YOU got caught up bruh bruh. Shit was wack. But Im gettin off topic. Far as this shit go...I think son kinda bodied it. Or maybe the rest of these fools jus lowered the bar enough to create that illusuion or whatever nahmean. Either way son went in yo. (8.5)
The Cypher that had ScHoolboy Q....n a bunch of niggas I dont fuck wit
Musta been a reeeeeaaaal shortage of niggas willin to come on the show for this shit to have to go down. Minus the boy Q... I aint really tryin to fuck wit none of this shit yo. But whatever b.
Jay Bird the Purdy Boi - Get....the...FUCK....owwwwtta....heeeeeeeere yo. Son is jus corny as FUCK b. Purdy Boi? GOT DAMMM. Yo PLEASE stop rappin b. Never thought I would have to tell somebody to get off the dick of that nigga Skillz but here this muthafucka is yo. Plus this nigga shirt unbuttoned to his navel lookin like a young Don Cheadle in the 80s n shit. Man I hate corny niggas who be kinda knowin how to rap more than niggas who flat out jus CANT rap n be makin rap songs anyways...HELL NO to his whole shit b. (1)
Hopsin - This muthafucka STILL on this same shit. Like the EXACT same shit he always on. Son is aight....but he jus unnecessary in too many ways b. I hate the way this muthafucka rap...
BUT I THOUGHT YALL LIIIIIKE THE WAY I JOCK THE FUCK OUTTA EMINEM OLD SHIT FAAAAM
Oh...wait / I was pose to believe the hype? ...Ok
Them miniature eyeballs shits is gettin tired too yo. Even if son had a couple bars on this shit...jus the fact that he kicked more of that "Slim Shady-esque" shit AGAIN made it impossible for me to fuck wit it son. I aint sayin he lackin any talent but he need to stop jus based off principle b. (5)
ScHoolboy Q - Now this my dude. Son not only kno how to spit but he dont dickride the shit outta nobody else (Still talmbout YOU Hopsin)...not even his mans n em in TDE. He dont sound like Kendrick n Kendrick dont sound like Ab Soul n dont none of em sound like Jay Rock n Rock dont sound like Q or Kendrick or Soul...all em fools got they own style n thats exactly what the fuck been missin from rap nahmean. Thats why I got nothin but respect for em boys. For this cypher shit tho...I feel like you gotta come wit more than jus some nice bars nahmean. Like you need some presentation n some impact yo. Cant jus be lookin down at the floor wit ya hands in ya pocket on some passive shit like "is it ok wit yalls if I be up here spittin?"....NAW YO. Aint like you need to be up there rockin some apache chief shit wit the feathers n whatever on ya head n some war paint on ya face gettin rolled round in a rickshaw by two midgets in zoot suits...but at the same time you gotta stand out yo. I dont kno what the fuck he was doin at the end or if he slipped up or what...but the shit was still aight. (6.5)
Mac Miller - YOOOOOOO DID YOU JUS HEAR WHAT MAC MILLER SAID??? YO THIS SNOW NIGGA JUS SAID HE GOIN CRAZY LIKE CLINT EASTWOOD IN A EMPTY CHAIR WOWWWWWW THIS MUTHAFUCKA WYYYYYLIN YO REWIND THAT SHIT BACK SON ZAMMMMMN!!! AAAAAND HE SLIPPED THAT JAB ON LORD FINESSE TOO!!! GOOD LAAAAAAWD ALMIGHTY YO!!! CLINT EASTWOOD...IN A EMPTY CHAIR!!! (4)
Mystikal - Yo who let Mystikal dusty ass in the building son? I mean...I was never a fan of this bipolar rappin ass muthafucka but I still wasnt ready for all that growlin n old nigganess he was kickin up in the air for the first few bars on this shit. In the end tho he had a few sparks n the shit was aight... (5)
The Cypher wit the dude from Africa on it
Nothin against African rappers....its jus they always got some niggas spittin in foreign on this muthafucka. But respect due to Mother Africa the birthplace of all civilization namsayin.
Jean Grae - Yo Jean Greasy came correct on this shit b. She kinda seemed like she had jus wrote the bars in the cab on the way to the show at first but by the middle shit was clickin together like lego namsayin. I fucks wit it. Btw FEMCEE was always a wack word b. (7.5)
Sarkodie - Son said OBIDIBIPONBIDIi...*shrug*...Anyways I think this years African dude was slightly nicer than last years. (7)
Ab-Soul - Good Lawd yo...this muthafucka jus slapped the shit outta Webster b. I BEEN told niggas they was sleepin on son. Homie went from bein the weakest link to the one wit the hottest ink flowin out his pen (sometimes) nahmean. Not tryna take nothin away from Kendrick n Q but lyrically son took it to another level b. Word is bond. In the end Kendrick shit was tighter n more consistent but Soul was sayin some shit right here yo. If yall aint appreciate it you wack as fuck. He brought that work yo. Straight up. (9)
Talib Kweli - Kweli is jus nice man. Its been a minute since son shook off that veggie burger rap image he had back in the day n showed the world he could go beast mode when he wanted to. And thats precisely the muthafucka that showed up for this shit right here b. My dude not only held his own against all the young bucks that showed up for this shit but he smashed it yo. Not to mention son had one a the hottest lines so far wit that "Im Frank Ocean in a Chik Fil A...Ill never get served" shit. (8)
The Man With The Iron Fists Cypher
This shit was a little different from jump cuz it was actually RZA cuttin it up on the one n twos instead of Preemo. After the Abbot (who happened to be rockin some fashionably questionable garments yo) gave em all the quick little introductions n the slick promo on his new movie it was all back to bidness tho...
Angel Haze - Ionno son.....Guess she was aight. But wasnt nothin incredible. Of course I gotta avoid sayin she was decent for a FEMALE rapper too...........but she was. (4)
Joey Bada$$ - Im familiar wit sons shit...I dont think he make joints for my particular demographic n shit tho so I dont really be feelin any type of way bout his shit regardless nahmean. But son over here gettin his little Killah Priest on or whatever n I dont kno if I feel too good bout all that shit yo. Like stick to the shit you kno b...thats my word. But Ionno...maybe he was tryin to impress RZA. Shit was above average tho. (7.5)
Driicky Graham - I aint gon front...I thought this dude was gon be mad corny b. Probably cuz of that anthem for lames he put out a while back...the Snapbacks n Tattoos joint. But he came thru witta aight verse. He kinda doin too much...but thats what you gotta do when you up n comin (jus not on some over the top corny Jay Bird shit). So I respect the hunger n whatever nahmean. The original shit he wanted to spit was basically jus him goin at Tyler tho. BET wasnt havin that shit tho apparently. Personally I dont give a fuck bout Tyler any which way...but its all good. (7)
Childish Gambino - Yo this my dude...n if you need me to tell it for you...either you deaf or a hater cuz son went off like he aint had no safety on his shit namsayin. Plus he got jokes. Son killed it yo. (9)
A$AP Rocky - If you follow the Gods moves closely you already kno that I think homie is the future of rap music nahmean. Im not sayin he the nicest nigga out there by any means...cuz he damn sure aint....but he make the kinda joints I be appreciatin to the fullest namsayin. I was actually surprised he spit some bars this cold tho...AND he only said swag one time. (8.5)
The Ruff Ryders Cypher
The Double R camp done shrunk a little bit yo...but Im jus glad Swizz Beatz wasnt here one-hand-in-the-air-if-you-dont-really-care'n or doin a wack hook on this shit. But where Jada at son?
Murda Mook - Hol up... how long has son been on his come up yo? Didnt son use to battle Jae Millz way back when? Im sayin tho son...make some damn records b. That battle shit is cool but niggas end up fallin by the wayside after a while b. Mook always been a beast tho.. so its all love. Anyways yo...I was kinda expectin more from son based off his pedigree...but he actually came wit a few jewelz you mighta missed. That Social Security Administration....ASS backwards line was beautiful. Yall gotta really listen to catch what son was sayin yo. But the shit was kinda ill. (8)
Cassidy - Yo Cassidy always been nice...but his shit also never evolved nahmean. The bars was cool n he had a couple lines but the delivery n the flow was jus regular shit b. But on the reals...halfway thru yo I jus started peepin Eve in the background lookin all fine n whatnot...so maybe I missed sumthin bruh. (7.5)
Eve - Yo I aint even realize how good it was gon be to see E-v-e spittin again. Back in the 90s..when it was between Foxy n Kim I was always fuckin wit Eve the most. Like she aint never got on my nerves like most em broads do after a while (jussayin). Far as right now tho...she aint KILL this shit like forreal forreal but she still kinda went in. Especially since she been outta the loop for a hot minute. I aint mad tho. Do ya thing boo.(7)
DMX - Yo did Darkman X bring that work? Gotta admit...even tho he aint really been his old self in a minute he spit a mean verse. It was good to see the dog back in form son. Most important tho...he aint talk bout forcibly gettin niggas to suck his dick or rapin dudes in the showers or none of that usual shit he be doin. Salute my nigga. (8.5)
So there yall have it. I aint got time to be huntin down no youtube links that Viacom aint gon take down 5 minutes later so its on yalls to ga'head n find that shit if you aint watch this shit already. The gods overall opinion on this shit is...the shit was aight. I probably fucks wit the Iron Fists n Ruff Ryders shit the most...the West Coast shit was dope too. The rest was ehhh...but still had one or two muthafuckas pickin up the slack in each group namsayin. The highlight for me was that there wasnt no YMCMB cypher once again...so I aint had to watch Tyga breathin invisible dicks outta his mouth or Drake pattin lyrical balls of yarn in the air n Wayne spittin the leftovers of the leftover corny punchlines that Cole aint remember to use on Sideline Story n Nicki doin that malfunctionin robot shit she do or Gudda jus bein the poster child for unnecessary existences still. Cool. Fuck yall.
UPDATE: Yall can find all the cyphers over HERE
UPDATE: Yall can find all the cyphers over HERE